Doomsday Dice

"Oh d20s, why do you forsake me so?"

Last night we returned to the Castle of the Mad Arch-Mage. Our group has been adventuring there for the last year or so. We found ourselves on the 4th level, again. (only the 4th level, after a year, but thats another story...) I was playing Sir Owyn de Lapins, my valiant Paladin. I had left my other two characters behind because when we started this session two weeks ago, we had a party the size of a small army. Sir Owyn is 5th level, he has 18 strength, a bastard sword +1, and glorious plate mail of carnage +4. SO, his "to hit" bonus is extremely generous. That being said, last night, Sir Owyn swung like a 13 year old girl, blindfolded, facing Randy Johnson on the mound. He could do nothing to hit. Nights like those are embarrassing. I lower my head in shame at the table as the other characters have to step in to take care of the bad guys.

I used the dice in the picture above. I was feeling a little nostalgic last night so I started with one of my "original" dice, the blue one straight out of the basic set. I've had this die since junior high school. It brings back grand memories of me sitting in my basement, scouring modules and the monster manual, and spending all of my waking hours rolling amazing characters. Its a little bit smaller than a modern die, as well as a little lighter. The edges are sharp, causing it to "bump" around on the table instead of roll. My first encounter, I charged an orc/human pair engaged in a sparring session. They were lightly armored and armed with wooden clubs. It was a practice session. Of course I would wade in and crush them. MISS. HIT. MISS. Not so good. So, what do I do? I switch dice. I pulled out my other original die, the yellow one. After someone poached the orc in front of me, an Ogre crashed into the room. "He's mine!" said Owyn as he charged across the room. MISS, MISS, another poach from Henri the Cowardly and his crossbow. Yellow die, fired. Time for the big guns. I took out the pearly silver die and hoped that its magical powers would reverse my fortunes. After failing to free a fire nymph from a pillar of magical fire set by the Arch Mage, we heard the sound of heavy boots approaching. We set an ambush. As the party of orcs and humans entered the "Mascot Room" to drool over the nude fire nymph, we attacked. I was excited to get down to business, now that I had a "real" die to roll with. I jumped into the middle of the group, probably blocking line of sight for missile weapons, and did my worst. MISS, MISS. Amazing. In a narrow corridor, crammed full of people, swinging a two handed bastard sword, I missed. Once again, archers took their measure and finished the party. Sir Owyn hung his head in shame. A horrible night for me and dice. Hey, look on the bright side, at least I didn't roll any 1s.